Ok, quirko my friend you know who and what imzadi is to me but maybe some of you don't. In between times when I was writng I met and fel in love with someone very special who Ihad a lot in common with. I was supposed to leave with him two weeks ago and ineverheard from him and I though he'd abandoned me, so stupid because people don't send you money, call you their imzadi for nothing, they have to really love you. I was crushed and wanted to gon with my life, wanted to able to feel for someone else but even though I cared about other people, the love I feel for my dear Anthony is beyond anything I could have ever imagined, I know this because when he messaged me toight, my heart skipped, felt like it was shattering with joy, with fear. Let's just say somoene bakeracted him so that those of you who would wonder won't just think I am believeing what he's saying and that he'sjust fucking with me, his exgirlfriend thought he was coming to get me so we could kill ourselves together and the police searched his house and his phone was disconnected. All nuts! I couldn't be happier though, he saysh e'l come get me Thursday I pray that this is not to make another fool of me, I could not bear ifhe did not come, this would be more than I could bear. I have been so close to wanting to die, trying to put on a brave front even in my ournal. I love him, I love him, I can't help it. He is more than I could have ever wanted, even if he thikshe isn't worth anyting. I was so happy and I went in to the kitchen because my grandmothr came in my room without knocking andit pissed me off. I was sohappy and Ihad to tell her, she's now threatening me if I chose to leave. What a fucking bitch. One minute I can leave if I want, the next I am not alowed to, what the fuck. I fucking hate them. They suck soooo bad. Motherfuckers, otherfuckers! I love Anthony with all my heart even if he doesn't believe it, I can't blamehim after reading what I wrote. I didn't know what to do after I felt so abandoned. My heart is beating with joy and no longer in sorrow. How lucky I feel that I am still alive to enjoy this beautiful feeling. I love all of you my friends and I'm so glad I didn't lose my soulmate. I shouldhave listened to my gut that he hadn't just abandoned me but I've been wrong so much lately that I couldn't trust myself. I should have in something this important I'm usually right. I' signing off now with glee in my heart and love brimming everywhere. I' all yours, imzadi.